One of these days I'll understand why I use the internet like a diary. Anyway I'm better now, spent a couple of days with my cousins and that was good fun (except when we had to wait outside some crappy shop in the freezing cold).

In terms of work I think I might move from comics and go into fashion illustration, as much as I love comics there isn't much money to be made from them.

No promises, I am starting work on new projects. This gallery is going to need a shake-up.

New Years? Ah fuck why did I bother mentioning that?

I wonder what the old regulars would think if they saw what I posted on BYB just now? ... Who am I kidding, there was just me and..

I am going to regret posting this, I just know I am, idiot I am

[link] I can't fucking believe this guys, this is actually surreal.. RAGE FUCKING OWNED THE X-FACTOR!! Jesus christ man.. this has made my Christmas complete.

So who do you think will win the Christmas no. 1 slot this year? Rage Against the Machine or that Joe guy from X-Factor? My Christmas this year will just be complete if Rage win, I've done my part to help with that, and now I'm doing more. Whatever you do don't buy the X-Factor single, you are only supporting Simon Cowell. Most of the money from that single goes not into Joe's pocket but into Simon's, and what that man thrives on most is money fame and business, monopolising the Christmas number ones is one of the best ways to achieve that. He has been doing this for five years, enough's enough guys, just buy Killing in the Name. If you like Joe's song just do an illegal download or wait until after Christmas. At least the proceeds from Killing in the Name go to charity and not into some greedy fucker's high-waisted trouser pockets.

In other news, my Chrimbo shopping is done, I'm trying to improve my maths, going out on a drinking marathon tonight (YAY!!), and I have to use one of my story projects as part of my art project next term. This is embarassing to have to admit that I am struggling with KS2 maths >_< They do algebra at that age!? Jeez, it's enough to break my brain. Ocassionally my dad has practiced maths with me, it's handy that he used to be an accountant but at the same time very annoying as he thinks I should be able to work this shit out in my head. I need a pen and paper to do it. *Head hit desk* Pain. In. The. Arse.

You know the times when you have a formulated plan in your head and you what exactly needs to be done to get to where you want, yet it feels impossible and like your every attempt will fail? It's no secret I want to work in comics, that'd be a dream come true, problems keep coming up. Comics are only really popular in Japan (and possibly America), so I'm trying my hardest to learn another language and to be good enough Illustrator. My two top unis of choice are Norwich and Bournemouth, the latter has a course that is more beneficial to me but I don't think I'll have good enough grades to get in, the former I am not going to get any further than the interview.

This scares me. So much. The interviews and my work doesn't scare me, it's what I'm planning to do that terrifies me. I feel like one of two things will happen, my plan is going nowhere or it will turn out like some horrible nightmare.

Sometimes I wish I didn't taint my art by trying to pursue it, perhaps... But then what else would I have done? Clever I am not.

Someone just say something here, anything. This has always been at the back of my mind and now I know for sure...